No matter what the rest of the world may say, it's not your fault.
Protect Yourself
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Screen everything and pay attention to tiny things in how you feel. How do you cope with abandonment, nightmares and trauma body memory? They never go away.
Up all night last night to fix one of our PC's. The next thing we know it's Friday morning and we don't remember falling asleep on the couch. So today it's just rest and don't relapse. You have to protect yourself. Don't relapse. It will just make the pain way worse. Stay safe.
A long day of fighting symptoms and to not relapse. Stimulant cravings never seem to go away. If you relapse, you system turns severely acidic and it's really hard not to dissociate. Pay attention to small things in how you feel. One minute you feel relatively grounded. Then sadness, despair and fighting to not black out. But you do your best to try and cope. Stay safe.
Back for another doctor's appointment. The good news? All the tests are negative. But next week time for another blood test. You can't singlehandedly save the world. But do the best you can. Protect yourself.
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