ptsdwellbeing

The pain is always there. You never get a break. It feels like trauma pain comes in waves. One minute you feel like you can focus fairly well. Then torture flashbacks bombard you. You want to feel like you're not permanently damaged. But there's evidence that prolonged torture affects your physiological response to pain. Undealt with trauma pain affects you on a genetic level. It never goes away. Do you still have nightmares? We do. You're lucky if you get two hours of sleep at night. Then the next morning you hurt all over. The pain is always there. You have to fight back because you have to. You don't have a choice. You can't handle your pain and the pain of the rest of the world all at the same time. We tried that and it didn't work. Despite that, you can't let your guard down. We've never assaulted or killed anybody. But the possibility of blackouts is always there. How many multiple personalities do you have? We have our little kid and t

When was the last time you got a good night's sleep? We can't remember. You try to get some sleep. But you wake up almost every hour on the hour. Then when you try to wake up you feel like you got hit by a car. After that, constant exhaustion. Torture flashbacks, body pain and borderline blackouts are happening a lot. You try to face your trauma pain head on because that's the right thing to do. Denial will just make it way worse. You have to fight back. You just have to. Protect yourself.

Constant exhaustion as you fight to not black out. No dissociative disorder for over four months now. But we've come close a few times. You have to be careful so you don't let your guard down. If you do, a relapse is like an automatic reflex. You have to fight back. You have to protect yourself. Because you have to. Stay safe.

How's your part of the world? Sorry to be away for so long. But we've been bombarded with a lot of pain and various stuff to do. The longer you go without having a relapse, the more debilitating your pain feels. You're not physically paralyzed. But emotionally you feel like you can barely do anything. How do others who aren't trauma survivors treat you? Do they actually listen and have some empathy for what you struggle with? Or, do they treat you like you're invisible? We've had a long list of people who said they couldn't deal with this weird guy rape survivor crap, or just said you don't exist. Maybe some would say, you know some people are. They just can't understand. But that doesn't mean they can't at least have some human decency. Is that too much to ask? Your pain will never go away. You'll never a day free from PTSD symptoms or trauma pain. You're telling the truth every time you talk about your pain. And you deserv

How do you deal constant exhaustion? Symptoms never go away. Pain never goes away. Like any incurable condition, you try and cope as best you can. But the pain is always there. Through just not giving up and offing ourselves, we're still here. Despite that, you constantly struggle to not let your guard down and then risk falling apart. Why? Because you have to. Hiding behind denial will only make the pain worse. Protect your well being.

A long day of fighting symptoms and to not black out. It takes a lot of energy to remind ourselves that we did nothing wrong. We have no control over others who say and do horrible things. We're telling the truth when we talk about our trauma history. Protect yourself.

Happy global May Day. How's your part of the world? Here the struggle against symptoms continues. But we know we're doing the right things to protect our well being. More sleep tonight? We'll see.