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Showing posts from December, 2018

You Have to Fight Back

Happy New Years. Stay safe in your part of the world. Here it's stay in, stay warm and watch TV. Part of it also is following the countdowns around the world as they happen. You have to fight back. You have to protect yourself. Set boundaries and draw on all your sources for help because you will need them. Stay well.

Protect Yourself

We know we're on the right track overall in protecting our well being. But the longer you go without hiding behind destructive stuff, the more debilitating the pain is. On he other hand, what other choice do you have? Be aware and do your best to stand up for the underdog. But your well being comes first. Stay safe.

The Full Reality of Your Trauma History

Another day of fighting symptoms. Went to the doctors yesterday and we now have bronchitis. Got lots of meds and now rest as much as possible. Don't have relapses with salt, sugar or caffeine. But the pain never goes away. Do you ever feel like you're about six steps ahead of the rest of the world? You know what many others will say and do and what the response will be? Why then bother with looking at any media at all? This will save a tremendous amount of time? Maybe. But we have that. The overall quality of many things continues to go down. Having said that, are we responsible for all of the nasty horrible people who want to destroy the world and make the rest of us suffer? No. While we can't stop them by ourselves, we can do what we can. Your well being continues to be mandatory. Many of our intl. readers (French, German and various others) know that human beings can only take so much. They know that our current predatory capitalism is literally killing millions. S

Horrible People

Have a nice Xmas? Here we just stayed home and rested. Finally over a cold? We'll see. But pain never goes away. Also, horrible people who say and do horrible things. Are they incredibly cruel, delusional and just don't care? Seems like it. But we did nothing wrong. Protect yourself as best you can.

A Day of Rest

Srill trying to get over a bad cough from our cold. Do things but then rest. Protect yourself as best you can. Stay well.

Coming Back

Hi. Down for a while with a bad cold and no energy at all. Finally we feel like we're coming back and can get around better. But we still have to pay attention to tiny things in how we feel. How's your part of the world? Keep in mind that you can't save the world all by yourself. Balance between your activism and protecting your well being. The well being is first. Here the federal government will shut down in about 1 hour and 45 minutes. For how long? No one knows. What if it shuts down and doesn't reopen? Would this be "The Great Tipping Point" where millions of Americans would protest in the streets? Not sure. In other countries, people have to act and they do. Regardless, human beings can only take so much. Protect yourself.

Pay Attention to Tiny Things

Trying really hard to not come down with a cold or worse. Stay away from refined sugar as much as possible. That just destroys your immune system. Caffeine depletes your chi. Set boundaries as best you can. Don't let your guard down because the pain will be too much. You have to fight back. Cover your bases as best you can. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. We have no death wish. or to hurt ourselves or anybody else. Protect yourself.

Protect Yourself

A real struggle to focus and do stuff today. It's like everything takes an enormous amount of energy. But you have to fight back. You don't have a choice.

Catching Up On Sleep?

Finally felt like we caught up a little on sleep. Caffeine is one of the biggest things that can drain your chi level. We feel like there's a little more energy. Stay away from that and refined sugar as much as possible. Despite that, the pain never goes away. But we know that we're following the right things.You have to fight back. You never get a break. What other choice do you have? If you let your guard down, triggering stuff can be too much. We won't off ourselves. But you can't get sloppy. Racist Trump. Wars. Brexit that will make the UK poorer. We can't single handedly save the world. But we can be aware and try to make things better. Protect yourself.

A Really Long Day

Got no sleep at all last night due to a really early doctor's appointment. Then, a treadmill test and talk about the results. The good news? Following a lot of holistic ideas in my health I don't surgery. In the future (roughly 5 -10 years)? Maybe. But I told the doctor and his resident that if I had any choice about it, I'd rather not have it. Like anybody, you're just trying to have an idea of how to protect yourself. Do I really want to have a high risk of having surgery and then becoming an invalid for the rest of my life? No I don't. I've been through and continue to go thru a lot of pain every day. Protect your well being as best you can. Stay well.

Fight Back

You have to fight back. You have to protect your well being. You can't just sit back and do nothing. You have to set boundaries. You have no control over what other horrible people say and do. Stay well.

You Have to Keep Going

No nightmares last night. But we got maybe 3 hours of sleep. Another day of constant exhaustion and fighting symptoms. But on an intuition level, we know that we're doing the right things. Don't let your guard down. Do you really want to dissociate and then literally vanish? You have no idea of where you are, what time it is and you feel like you're literally dissolving? You have to fight back. You have to protect yourself. Your sense of being grounded. You have to. You scream and fight to not black out. If you let your guard down, the pain will be too much. I know of other trauma survivors who got hit by a violently triggering thing and killed themselves. The pain was too much. You're not responsible for what other horrible people say and do. They deal with the consequences, not us. You have to fight back. Protect your well being.

You Have to Fight Back

Fight symptoms and constant exhaustion. Triggering stuff is everywhere. You set boundaries as best you can because you have to. The horrible people you have no control over. They have to deal with the consequences of their words and actions. Not us. Do you still struggle with trying to save the world all by yourself? If others would just listen to you, then you could fix everything by the end of the day? No. Instead, keep a balance between the two. Stay well.

Don't Let Your Guard Down

You have to be careful. If you let your guard down, the pain is too much. We know other trauma survivors who did that and sadly killed themselves. That will never happen to us. But you can't be complacent. The horrible people continue to say and do horrible things. I don't have control over them. But we will protect ourselves. Because you have to. Do we want to destroy our sobriety? We think about a drink sometimes. But the pain always gets worse. So no. Protect yourself.

A Long Day

Fighting symptoms all day long. Pain never goes away. It still feels like we've been tortured every day for a long time and then suddenly you have tiny moments of clarity. Then the full horror of your trauma history hits. We're not a danger to anybody. We deserve to be heard. Protect yourself.

It Never Goes Away

A long day of fighting symptoms. Also, at times some moments of clarity. It's like you've been tortured every day non stop for years and then suddenly, there's some quiet. You also realize how much you had dissociative to have relapses. Black out and then the pain will go away. Use sexual substitutes and you'll never be lonely or laughed at. No. I like real sex with real women. Now, it feel like horrible pain and loneliness. You alost feel paralyzed. But at least you're facing it head on. Protect yourself.

The Pain Never Goes Away

You have to fight back. Came close to having another dissociative relapse. But we managed to fight our way out of it and not lose our being grounded. Trauma pain is worse. It hurts to stand up and shift our weight. Testicle pain, penis pain, anal pain; it's all over. But you have to face it head on as best you can. Don't relapse.

You Have to Fight Back

Really wiped out from a long day of fighting symptoms. Then again, it never goes away. Also, my tolerance for bigger meals has gone down. Is it because my blood circulation has gotten worse because of my heart disease? Not sure. Protect yourself.