ptsdwellbeing

The pain and exhaustion never goes away. Do you still have nightmares? It's like you wake up roughly every hour and can never have straight sleep. It never goes away. The pain is always there. More tests and appointments on the way. Protect yourself.

A long day of fighting symptoms. Constant exhaustion as you fight to not relapse. Pay attention to how tiny things affect you. Others can blow that off. But we can't. You can't save the world all by yourself. But do your best to try and make things better. Protect yourself.

Another day of exhaustion and fighting to not relapse. You have to. Everything drains your energy. But what else can you do? Stay well.

A long day of fighting emotional paralysis. You get hit with anger, pain, frustration, nightmares, and they never let up. But you know that you did nothing wrong. You're not a danger to anyone. Denial will make things worse. Getting a gun and killing everyone who treated you like crap will solve nothing. You have no control over the horrible things that others say and do. It's not your fault. Protect yourself.

Struggling not to have another relapse. We have a constant craving for stimulants. Also the longer you go without a relapse, the more emotionally paralyzed you are. It feels like we're more and more intolerant of a lot of formerly favorite foods. Our birthday was yesterday. Got out to do some things. But then stayed home because we had no energy. On the other hand, we know we're on the right track. Protect youself.

Everywhere you look, it's triggering stuff. Is it safe to go outside? On days like this, you wonder. But you do, because you have to. Almost no sleep at night. You constantly fight exhaustion and to not dissociate. Just sitting back and doing nothing doesn't work. You have to fight back. You did nothing wrong. Admitting that you need all the help you van get isn't a sign of failure. You have no control over others who say and do horrible things. Stay safe and do what you can to make things better.

Sorry to be away for a while. Not on purpose. It's just that the past few weeks have been a real struggle. We had a dissociative relapse about one week ago after six months of no relapses. You don't know where you are, what time it is and all of your pain instantly goes away. But that's not true. Every time you have a relapse the pain is twice as bad as it was the last time. You know that this doesn't help. Yet we keep making the same mistakes. Why? One reason. For a long time, violent unchecked dissociating was non stop all day every day. It only makes sense then that relapses would be like someone shooting up. It's a reassuring hug that lets you feel normal. But it doesn't. You have to fight back, You can't just sit back and do nothing. That doesn't work. You're constantly run down. Then again, what else can you do? Protect yourself.