A Real Struggle

Sorry to be away for a while. Not on purpose. It's just that the past few weeks have been a real struggle.

We had a dissociative relapse about one week ago after six months of no relapses. You don't know where you are, what time it is and all of your pain instantly goes away. But that's not true. Every time you have a relapse the pain is twice as bad as it was the last time.

You know that this doesn't help. Yet we keep making the same mistakes. Why?

One reason. For a long time, violent unchecked dissociating was non stop all day every day. It only makes sense then that relapses would be like someone shooting up. It's a reassuring hug that lets you feel normal.

But it doesn't.

You have to fight back, You can't just sit back and do nothing. That doesn't work. You're constantly run down. Then again, what else can you do?

Protect yourself.

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