Don't Fall Apart

Struggling these days to not let our guard down and fall apart. You never get a break. Symptoms are always there. You always have to fight back. The pain is always there.

You don't want to turn into some burned out angry monster who says we just don't care anymore. You can't trust anybody. So we're going to get a gun and kill every asshole who treated us like shit. Do I have a gun in my house? No. I could get one, but what's the point? Every time I think about doing that you instantly have split second visions of killing yourself. I don't have a death wish. But at times those thoughts are there.

Every time you have a dissociative relapse, it's like an addict using again. It's twice as painful as the last time. You have to protect your well being.

If others say and do horrible things, they have to live with the consequences. Not me.

Protect your well being.

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